17 Albert Street,
Auckland Central
Auckland,


(09) 309 3079 

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4 out of 5

Fu Bar is a natural extension of the Safari Lounge on a Wednesday night, though by the time things kick off it's more accurately Thursday morning.

Fu, on Queen Street, is a little way from Ponsonby's Safari Lounge. But there's a well-plied taxi route between them by 3.30am.

Yep, Fu is a late developer—but one that blossoms nonetheless. It's all Japanese floral designs with red walls, and UV lights. There's a long bar running from dark booths at the front to the dance floor at the back; off to the left is a pool table area with extra speakers.

Fu Bar is underground. The only signs of it on Queen Street are the door, the bouncers and the queue.

And this is a very good thing, as the sound system's so bassy it could communicate with whales halfway round the world.

A completely deaf person could dance in here; you can feel rhythms in your fingers and toes, and it makes them want to twitch.

The result is probably the best club dancing you'll see in Auckland—at least from where the fellas are standing. Girls do that sexy R'n'B thing so much better—and the night we come, it causes the fellas I'm playing pool with considerable difficulty in maintaining their game.

Part of the problem is the DJ's mixing. When alternate tracks are cut in, they arrive either on the dance floor side or the pool table side. So you'll find yourself getting down to the dance floor sounds by the pool table, when the next track is scratched in on the four-foot woofer behind you.

It's cool, and the girls—all white flat-caps, pinstripe fitted shirts and heels—by the pool table know it. If they liked Prince, their favourite line would be Alphabet Street's “Jerk your body like a horny pony would.” The fellas pretty much give up on the pool game.

As we leave, the speakers are pumping out the fading electro bass of the Pussycat Dolls—and it sounds like a spaceship landing. “Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?”

I'm not sure these guys could handle it if she was.