17 High Street,
Auckland Central
Auckland,


(09) 379 6811 

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3 out of 5

After a warm-up drink elsewhere, we wanted a bit more action which is why we ended up here. Deschlers is usually good for music, good for a crowd, good for feeling like something’s happening.

But not when there’s no music playing apparently. I’d been to this High Street and listened to live jazz and blues here and enjoyed it hugely. Tonight, there was no one making music and the room felt distinctly empty and echo-y when we entered.

Looking around, we could see there were a respectable number of people tucked up in booth-type tables along the walls and dark corners. But even once we had a drink and had settled in, the place still didn’t lose that hard-edged provisional railway station feel. The background music was so background, I couldn’t even hear it.

The barman was pleasant but perfunctory, still serving as if there was a crowd if you get my drift. The gin and tonic was okay but still we couldn’t relax. This was not helping my lovesick friend at all.

We sat at the windows which opened out on the street and looked back into the glowing red-lit depths of Deschlers wondering, not for the first time, where all the nice men had gone.

Just then—as if conjured up out of some perverted imagination—a man walked by, stopped and stared and breathlessly fell upon my friend.

They’d gone to high school together, did she remember? (No). He’d had the hugest crush on her at school but so had lots of boys. (My friend is shaking her head and mouthing ‘only the geeks’). How lucky he was to see her again. Is she married? No? How weird. Neither is he. Why not? Incredible. Well then, here’s his number. Amazing. He doesn’t usually come to town but this is clearly the place to meet people.

Amazing all right. We would never have guessed.

As he walked away, my friend hissed “Don’t say it. Just don’t say it.”

No I wouldn’t, but honestly he’d make someone (not her) the best husband.

The music had improved by now and there were a few more people but even this flattering encounter hadn’t cast Deschlers in a kinder light for us. Actually it had probably put my friend off for good. Not me. I don’t blame Deschlers for every relationship crime since Adam, but there’s nothing to recommend the place unless there’s live music I reckon.