115 Great South Road,
Remuera
Auckland,


(09) 524 2643

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2 out of 5

This is where Willy Loman lives. Or comes to die. The Bridge Bar & Brasserie is part of the Accor Hotel group and on paper sounds swish.

In real life it’s a mock tudor topping on a brick foundation. It looks hasty, ill-considered and lacks any redeeming architectural features.

Inside, it is little better which is why I thought of Willy and the Arthur Millar play Death of a Salesman. The salesmen that come here may well be raging successes but, I’m sorry, the location reeks of failure.

There weren’t many people there at all on a Thursday night and we kept the staff from going home by mining a good seam of conversation till 9.15pm. They were packing up around us.

I can’t remember what we were discussing, but it must have been good because the bar tables and chairs were hugely uncomfortable. The table seemed too high for the chairs and our arms and elbows felt perched up in a very odd way.

The barman is sweet enough in a callow, greasy-haired way. I liked the way he kept calling us “You two” as in “You two okay?” and “You two want another drink?”

The prices were reasonable too (a glass of Lindauer brut for $7.50, Fareham Lane pinot gris at $7 a glass) but the décor is sad, sad, sad.

With its framed photographs of footie teams, unframed photos of high jinx and parties long past, left-over Christmas lights, an enormous painted mural of people at a party, wood which looks fake (but may not be) and white chairs in the brasserie area, it looked to me part blokey den, part low-rent restaurant.

My friend thought everything looked like it came from the Target furniture bargain bin circa 1980.

“Hard to believe we’re in Remuera,” said my shocked Remuera friend. Indeed.

“Want to come back to my place for the rest of the evening?” she added. You bet.